Lost 03 x 08 - Ohh Brotha

Friends, Romans, Countrymen... Join me this week as I attempt to interpret episode eight, season three. Our delightful friend, Desmond, is back. The crazy Scot can see the future - or can he? Let me tell you, after watching The Minority Report I thought I was a Pre-Cog for months. Ask Melissa. I was finishing her sentences. I was drunk. We all know that Desmond has a problem with the drink, right? But, what really happened in the hatch?
Episode eight begins with Charlie and Fat Hurley raiding Sawyer's tent. What, by chance (or as the French say, merde du tete) did they find? A stack of Playpen magazines! Haha. I love Sawyer. Much like medicine and food, pornography is essential to human existence.
Yada yada yada. Desmond has a vision a la Ravin Simone in That's So Ravin. Claire is drowning. Desi saves her. Touches her boobs - ahem, I mean administers CPR. Bada bing. She's alive. Charlie's pissed.
"Claire! Where have you been? Aaron's hungry." Oh stop the house-Dad whining, Charlie. You English bastard. Can't you see Claire is trying to get her fuzzy-koala-bear on with Desmond? God. You ruin everything! Girls just want to have fun, ya, oh girls just want to have fun.

Episode eight was all about Mr. Desmond Scotiedawg. His Highland charm turns me on. No seriously. The Lost writers have to read the Internet or the entertainment magazines... The plebes are revolting. They need more information... Reveal some secrets! I have to concur, if only slightly. This episode reminds me of grade ten lit class - reading Coles Notes: Hamlet. Destiny. What is it? Fate. What is it? Why does Hamlet wear tighty whiteys? Charlie and Fat Hurley decide to get Desmond drunk. They want to know how Desi can see the future.
Then... Charlie kills Desmond.
Nah. Just kidding. We learn what happened to Desmond after he turned the fail-safe key in the hatch. He goes back in freakin' time. Give me a break Lost writers.

Dum. Da. Dum.
Desmond, we are led to believe, visits his hot girlfriend's dad for a job interview. "I'm not here for a job. I'm here to ask your permission to marry Penny." The grumpy old man shoots him down. Desmond cries. Has a mental breakdown in the street. Sees Charlies. What? Yep. Then goes to talk to his physics friend about time travel.

Breathe. Ahh.

Desmond then goes to an antique shop. Buys a ring for Penny and meets The Crazy Old Broad.
The line of the week is courtesy of COB, she says, "Do you like chestnuts?"
What kind of lines are cougars using these days? My God.

Anyway. Desi learns about his future. Destiny. Fate. Blah blah.
I added this shot because Penny looks good. Me likes. Sexytime, no?
Penny and Desi take a photograph. Desi breaks up with her. She's pissed.
Flash back to present day. Desi tells Charlie that he (Chuck) is going to die. Despite all of his (Desmondo) efforts, Desmond may not be able to keep Charlie alive. The universe has a way of course correcting. Desmond can see the future! Can't wait until next week! Will Desi save Chuck?